Little Miss independent, little miss stubborn, little miss capable.  But oh how I love that you still need your blankie, your song before bedtime and that half way through the night I feel your sweet little body clamber over me, your little arms circling my neck and warm body snuggling up close.  Oh yes, you might think your a ‘normous girl now’ but you’re still my baby.  You’ll always be my baby and I will spend your fourth year cherishing every baby part of you.

Your Mama xoxo

Please continue on through this circle to read more letters from some  very talented women, starting with my sweet friend and amazing artist, Rashmi Pappu <3

It’s time for another Letter to you both, and this week I’m finding it difficult to find the right words.  I can’t articulate how watching the two of you together makes me feel and anything I try to say won’t come close to the feelings that I have for my two fruit-loops.  Once upon a time,  we didn’t know that you would have one another, and it could have been so different but how could our lives be anything but this – I dare not even imagine it.  What I have now is everything.  Sunny, bright, dreamy days with hearts full to the brim just from being near you, and all of that despite the weather.

But the two of you just work.  You fit together like intertwined hands, one leading the other, and most days it’s hard to tell who is leading who.  Yesterday I walked  past your bedroom door with an armful of laundry and stopped in my tracks at the sound of your giggles from within the room.  Just out of sight,  I stood as still as I was able so you wouldn’t notice me watching you, just drinking in your togetherness.  I don’t even remember what you were playing with because all I could see were two little faces, lit up with laughter at something or another that you found amusing.  I left after a while, and carried that euphoric ‘I’m the most blessed Mama in the world’ feeling around with me for the rest of the day.  It’s just another one of many moments that I will bring out and revisit often.

Keep on laughing together my sunshine girls,

Your Mama xoxo

Please continue to scroll through this circle and read more letters from some of the most inspiring women I know, starting with  Kirsty Larmour   Her images of her sweet girls are always breathtaking.

I don’t know when it is that you’ll be reading this, but one day I hope that you will.  I want to show you  something, a glimpse into your lives through my own eyes.  I know that I say it a million times a day,  but it’s not just words, because I  do feel like the most blessed Mama in the whole world.   I say it constantly because that is how you make me feel.  Imagine how incredibly lucky I feel when the first thing I see when I open my eyes are your sweet faces.  How could I not feel as though I’m holding the whole world in my hands when I have you both.

Poppy,  you funny little quirky fruit loop of a girl.  I adore every inch of you and your individual ways.  You do and always have followed your own beat and it’s so beautiful to me.  I see your trusting eyes, eyes that tear up quicker then any other i’ve known (well except Gabsie maybe), and eyes that look to me when the world gets confusing.  Never holding back, you speak with your heart, pouring out your hopes and dreams and the funny little thoughts you have, thoughts that always make me smile and want to hold onto you just exactly at this age forever.

When you’re being so serious about something that is very important to you, your sweet face in earnest as you speak, it’s all I can do not to smile.  I don’t though, because I don’t want you to think that I’m not paying attention, but you are so beautifully innocent still in your seven years, so trusting, and my heart is so happy that you are.  I want to hold onto this for as long as possible because as you grow I know that knowledge and experience will change you and make you more wary.   I love that in your eyes, the world is still a wondrous place where fairies fly around your room at night and where Mamas make everything right.

In my wildest dreams, I couldn’t have dreamt up a little girl as beautiful as you.

My sweet Lucy, It occurred to me just the other day, that you are coming to the end of your third year.  I’ll be honest with you, it makes me want to weep.  A little part of me is angry with time for disappearing in the blink of an eye.  My last baby, you’re beginning to loose the sweet chubby cheeks, the dimples on the back of your hands, the downy hair at the back of your neck and the lisp that you’ve had since your first words.  Not all gone just yet, and I’ve convinced myself that I have to kiss those hand dimples a thousand times a day just in case we wake up one morning and they are gone.  I know on that day I will cry huge big sad Mama tears.   But I don’t want these letters to seem sad and melancholy to you.  You are the cause of so many happy thoughts that go through my head.  I will always try to cling onto every second of you that I can, but I also rejoice those seconds and they are all tucked safely away just ready for me to bring out anytime I need a smile or a hug.

And I know too, that you’re not quite ready to give up your babyhood just yet.  We went a whole month with no suckies it was a wrench for you, but you did it and you were so proud.  I missed that little face with the sucky in it because at night time it had just become a part of you, a part of our routine, but I was also so proud that you managed what we thought would take you so much longer.  And then two nights ago, you crept into my bed in the night, as usual, and I felt your sweet arms around my neck and low and behold, what could I hear in my ear but the old familiar sucking noise.  I have no idea where you got it from, but it was back!!  And now we are having trouble separating you from it all over again! It’s ok though, I understand the want to be able to hang on to the baby moments for just a little longer.  We can be patient, I know you’ll do it when you’re ready. <3

But the best thing of all.  The very best thing, is seeing you two together.  Growing up together, learning together, loving together.  I know that you girls will always be there for eachother, I feel how strong your bond is and as much as I want to hold onto these young childhood days, I can’t wait to see the lifetime of ‘togethers’ that you both have ahead of you. <3

I love you two precious little girls, you make every day a sunshine day. <3

Your Mama

xxxx

Please continue scrolling through this blog circle of wonderfully talented women who I’m honored to be able to call my friends, starting with Amy Lockheart. of Amy Lucy Photography.   I can’t look at her images enough, she is a truly remarkable Mama and one of the sweetest women I know.

I want to thank you all, each one of you and your sweet faces and kind hearts for allowing me to continue my two loves combined, to capture my daughters on a daily basis and indulge in my love for photography.  I know that this journey would be far emptier without you travelling it with me.  You are the heart and soul of my work and if I’m able to find meaning, truth and emotion in my images, it’s because of you.  I am positive that if I’ve been at all successful – it’s because i’ve found a way, another dimension to show the world how I feel about you.   I don’t think you will ever know how grateful I am, or how proud I am of you.  I know you probably sometimes think that i’m just a soppy, cheesy Mama, but one day I really hope that you look at these letters, read these words and realise how proud I am of you.   I gave you life, but my life truly only began the moment you came into it.

Every thing about being your Mama is precious to me, from  the holding you when you cry, comforting you when you fall, to the laughter, the love and  the crazy times.  Every single second is cherished, taken and locked away in my memory to bring out, re-live  and remember.  This is why my images are so priceless to me, they are our memories, our history, our moments.  I will always remember the details, the way Poppys hair curled around her face in ringlets as a toddler, the way Lucy balances her suckies on her nose when she sleeps, the way Daisy acts like a clown and makes us all laugh.  I’ll never forget that my sweet Gabs has the most beautiful dimple when she smiles, or that Libby holds her hands clasped tightly together when she’s excited and happy.  I will have these details not only etched in my mind but right there for me to see, forever.

These images of you Gabs, I treasure because you allowed me to take them, you trusted me, and I’ll never take that for granted.

But these next images I treasure because they contain the details.  In these, I hold forever the little things that are so precious to me and these are the images that have my heart.

Having you for my Daughters, means that I’ll never stop feeling lucky and blessed.

Your Mama

xxxx

Please contine through this blog circle, starting with the amazingly talented Shalonda Chaddock of Chubby Cheek Photography, her photography is so beautiful and her use of light just out of this world.

Hello sweetheart.  I learnt something this week.  Probably something that seems so obvious, but  I learnt that life is more precious and precarious then I had ever thought.  I mean, it’s something that I knew already, but until a recent scare, I don’t think I had really comprehended it properly.  It made me think about my own children, about you, my sweet girl, and how every single day is a gift.  I want to close my eyes at night and know that I will take away a special memory from every single day.  I want to know that you carry one with you into your dreams too.   Whether it be a big thing or a little thing, like a laugh, a smile or a look.  I want every day to count.  I want you to know that I intend for us to live our days together to the full, and that I appreciate every little slice of a moment that I spend with you.

Please know this, nothing goes unnoticed.  No tear will go unwiped.  No graze unkissed.   No loving gesture will be ignored.  And no expression will pass without it being stored in my memory forever.

We are not a small family, as you know.  We don’t fit the ‘norm’, definitely not the 2.4 category and when we buy a family bag of apples, they are gone in one hit…rather then lasting the week.  But, you are not just ‘one of many’ to me.  You are very much your own person, bright, vibrant and individual.  You have such a strong presence and its one that I miss from the minute I drop you off at school until I pick you up again.

I found this image of you the other day, from when you were two.  You have always had such a strong sense of who you were, even from a tiny little thing.  I love that you still carry your security, your bear-bear.  That although you have direction and determination, you’re also such a sensitive and compassionate little being.

You shine very brightly my Poppy and since the day you were born, you’ve make my life sparkly.

 I love you.

Your Mama

xxxx

Please continue through this blog circle of amazing women, starting with one of the loveliest and talented women, Sarah Cornish of My Four Hens Photography The images she takes of her girls always blow me away and her letters are beautiful.

My Beautiful Libby,

My first daughter, my first born.  I planned you, I wanted you, I wished for you and I loved you from the first day I knew I was carrying you.   Life with you, my sweet Libby has been richer then I’d ever imagine life could be.   Such a tiny little thing you were with so much dark hair and your expressive eyes.  How can you be almost 22 now?  Where has the time gone?  I’ve never known anybody as determined as you.  When you were little, you didn’t believe that you might have to go at a slower pace, you didn’t agree with anyone who told you that you couldn’t do something.   I remember you in your Piedro boots, laced up high to give you support – repetitively   picking yourself up, as soon as you fell.  Over and over again, relentless, this tiny little girl so very determined not to let life get you down.  You Libby, are my hero.  There is nobody more brave, more courageous, and more special then you.

You have your own life now,  your own space and I love watching you thrive in it.  All the dreams that I once had for you, have one by one been realised.    We don’t need to remind you to slow down, to take each day as it comes and just see, because you’ve proved to everyone that you can do almost anything that you set your mind to. In so many ways, it’s you who have taught me a lesson or two.   I couldn’t be prouder of you Libby.  I no longer worry about you, as I once did.  I no longer wonder.  I know that you’ll be OK, and that makes me happier then you could ever imagine.

Don’t ever be ashamed of your uniqueness, it’s all just part of the little miracle that you are, and it’s part of why you are so loved.   I know there are times when you’ve been sad, when you’ve wanted to be different, and we’ve talked it through and laughed and cried and hugged.  But my sweet girl, you couldn’t be loved anymore then you already are, please always remember that when you’re feeling down.

Thank you for making me the Mother that I am today.  Without you,  that wouldn’t have happened.  I’m still learning from you and I always will because your heart of gold, your zest for life and your kindness towards others inspires me every day.

Please continue through this blog circle to read more Letters to Our Daughters from some of the most amazing women I know.  Starting with the gorgeous and soulful work of Sarah Cornish of My Four Hens Photography, her blog posts are amazing.

My Darling Gabsie,

I’ve been holding onto these images of you, my sweet girl, waiting for just the right time to use them.  That time is now.

Writing this, about you, my darling,  is harder then you’d imagine.  I can barely get the words out as I type them through tears.  It’s impossible you see, for me to see or think of my life without you, and I’m thankful that I don’t have to.  Our life together (just your brother, your sister and I), started out in one of the most stressful ways.  My Marriage had ended, I was alone and I felt completely isolated from the world.  A young single Mother, already bringing up two little ones, one of which was special needs – life was a constant flurry of physical and financial challenges.  I remember throughout my pregnancy there were times when I felt as though I cried for days, weeks, months.  I wasn’t myself and the light at the end of the tunnel seemed dim.  Worrying that this would translate over to my unborn baby, I would place my hand on my bump and will my baby to know how much she was loved, thought about and how much she was wanted.  That no matter what chaos was going on around me, I knew that this child was meant to be.  I’ve never felt anything so definite and powerful in all my life, and that knowledge pulled me through those dark days.  The connection between us, even before you were born, was one of the strongest i’ve ever experienced.

Even the day that you arrived was difficult.  I was laboring alone, I gave birth alone and I was unwell.  I remember you being handed to me, I was barely conscious and very weak but I fell so completely in love with you from the moment I saw you.  Like a newborn kitten, this tiny little girl with the most beautiful feline eyes and rosebud mouth.   Because you were born slightly blue and cold, they wanted to take you away from me and put you in a warming incubator, but I begged them to allow me to hold you against my skin, I just couldn’t bear to let you go.  I looked at your little face and whispered,  ‘its just you and me sweet Baby, I hope that i’ll be enough for you’.   Every day since then I’ve wondered whether I measure up, I guess in many ways, I still do.

You were the sweetest little girl i’ve ever met.  Always a smile, always happy and sunny, there was no room in my life for sadness with you around.   A bright little light that shone on everyone and everything around you, it almost stunned me at times.  You were small and dainty but not at all afraid to get dirty  - your curly hair always unkempt after a few minutes no matter what I did, your  knees scuffed up and your nose snotty.   So beautifully scruffy, like a little elfin child who’d spend the day rolling in the grass, singing at the top of your voice, playing as hard as you could.  To say that you embraced your childhood and life in general was an understatement.  You were effervescent.  You always made me feel as though I were the best Mother in the world, and I wanted more then anything to live up to your expectations. I wish I could take away the hard times my sweet girl, I wish I could have made your life even easier, even happier, even sunnier, as you did mine.  Circumstances made things tough from time to time, and I know that you struggled, I hope you know that i’ve always been right beside you, every step of the way.

Now you  are  all grown up, (well almost), and you’re  everything that I knew you would be.  You’re so much more like me then you realise and I’m afriad  that’s both a good and a bad thing.  It’s not easy being so incredibly sensitive and intuative.  Feeling every vibration from the people around you.  You are a conducter of feelings and emotions, and you take on the hurt and pain that is arround you as well as the love and happiness.  I used to think that it was a bit of a blessing and a curse combined, but ultimately it’s all part of what defines who you are, and I wouldn’t change one tiny thing about you.  I hope that one day, you feel the same way, that you realise how truly special you are.

You think that I expect you to be perfect, but I don’t.  I never wanted perfect, and you’re so much more then that.  You’re  real, you’re vibrant and emotional, you’re stubborn and loyal, you’re unforgiving and loving.  You’re a contradiction in many ways but you still light up my world.  I never wanted a perfect Daughter, I just wanted a happy one.  I wanted to be enough for you and I wanted you to know that I did the best that I could.  That I’ll keep doing the best that I can and that whatever you do, whoever you are, I will love you  to the end of my days and beyond.  For so many wonderful reasons, my  Angel, you’re still my little miracle baby,

Holding you in my heart forever,

Your Mama

Please continue through this blog circle to read more Letters to Our Daughters from some of the most amazing women I know.  Starting with the gorgeous and soulful work of Sarah Cornish of My Four Hens Photography, she’s completely wonderful and I know that you will enjoy her post.

Daisy,

I have to think back a little further now, my sweet Daisy, to remember how I felt when I first saw your little face.  So anticipated, your Daddy and I in our early years couldn’t wait to hold you.  I know you didn’t come along at the easiest of times in so many ways but I honestly didn’t care.  All I wanted was to share you with your brother and sisters and actually you just made the hard times so much more bearable.  I felt as though I could manage anything and everything with my little Daisy Woo cuddled up next to me.

You made us all laugh from the start, that hasn’t changed – you still do.  Sometimes (actually most of the time)  in a dream world – I often look at your face and see you far away, in your own world, as you often used to be as a small child.  Just a little guarded you are, but so honest about your feelings, so open and trusting.  I know it’s not easy being the middle one.  I know you sometimes feel forgotten, or just a little isolated in your island, I know you sometimes struggle to be heard.  But I do hear you my sweet girl, I am acutely aware of you and I try my best every day to make sure that you know that.  I want you to know how fiercely I love you and be completely secure in that.

Ditsy, sweet, innocent, trusting, loving, stubborn, funny, beautiful  - your name evokes all of these words.  I love the way everybody wants to know you, to love you and to be your friend and yet you’re so unassuming, so down to earth and real.  I love that you always text me when you’re missing me, with sweet messages, I love that you never go to bed without a goodnight kiss and that you’ll happily spend hours playing with your baby sister.  I love that you’re loyal and kind and see the best in people, you’re an inspiration.   I’m so proud of you Daisy, and when you’re not with me I only have to think of you and it warms my heart, and makes me smile.

Watching you grow up is amazing, you are everything and more that I ever thought you would be.  I still see the little girl who was obsessed with lipgloss,  dress up clothes and telletubbies, I still see the child with the golden curls dragging her noonee behind her wherever she went, like Linus.

And now here you are, thirteen and right on the line – not quite a child and yet not quite a young woman.  I see your Daddys expressive eyes and sensitive mouth,  I see my colouring and cheekbones, I see a combination of two people who adore you and want nothing more then your world to be full and happy.  You are my little love child Daisy Waisy Woo, and that can’t be a bad way to start a life.

Love you sweet girl, never forget how much,

Mumma Bear.

Please continue through this blog circle to read more Letters to Our Daughters from some of the most amazing women I know.  Starting with Jess Sandager, she’s completely wonderful and I know that you will enjoy her post.

My Sweet Little Poppy,

How can I begin to describe how I feel when I think about you.  You evoke so many beautiful emotions and it’s just so hard to put into words how special you are, but I’m going to try.  The day you arrived, my world changed forever.  My first and only American baby, this tiny little thing with big wide eyes and perfect lips – I never wanted to look away from your face.  I knew from the start that you would stand out, that you were very much your own personality, that you had your own very bright light, and you haven’t proved me wrong.  My little fruit-loop, with your low husky voice, curls falling around your head like a halo and your wise, intense little face.  If I could, I would literally follow you around with my camera all day in an attempt to catch the light as it falls over your features, just so that I don’t forget the smallest details or how expressive and full of wonderment you are.

Nothing passes you by, such a sensitive soul.  I have to be careful to keep the earth a safe place for you while you are so little, because you’d take on the woes of the whole world, if I’d let you.  You share every part of yourself willingly and I love that whenever you are given a treat or something that you love to eat, you rush off to find your little sister and make sure that she has half.  I love that you won’t go to sleep until you’ve told your brother that you love him and that the first thing you do when you wake up is tell me that you love me too.   Everything you do is in earnest and I have no doubt that you will continue to live your life this way.  My little nurturer, my funny little quirky girl who loves the world and wants to protect everyone in it.   You have no idea how proud I feel when I look at you, or how hard it is to say goodbye to you when you go off to school each day.  My heart sings when you’re near me and my heart feels just a little heavier when you’re not.

Thank you for your loud singing, your loving nature, your protective soul, your curly hair, your kindness and thoughtfulness.  Thank you for sharing your dreams with me, your unwavering love and your abundant hugs and kisses.  I’m not quite sure whatever it was that I did to deserve you, my little ray of sunshine – but I count my blessings every day.

I will Cheese Sandwich you, forever.

Your Mama

Please continue through this blog circle to read more Letters to Our Daughters from some of the most amazing women I know.  Starting with Jess Sandager, she’s an amazing artist and writer, and I know that you will enjoy her post.

My Darling Lucy,

Here you are, three years old, just!  I can’t quite comprehend that this is you, when it seems like a moment ago that I was looking into your incubator at the hospital, willing you to be well enough to come home. I’ve taken a lot of images of you over the last few years, but this one made me cry.   Your sweet curls piled on top of your head, looking forward, so intent on what you were doing.  One button missing on the back of your dress, so exactly you.  There’s always something out of place, just to make me smile.

My little lucky last.  My look-alike. My Velcro-baby, who has clung onto her Mama for the longest of all.  Even now I don’t get through a night without you climbing into my bed to be by my side.  Your arms all warm and snugly as they reach around my neck and the noise of your sucky making little squeaking sounds in my ear.  It seems like just yesterday that I had you, but still I don’t remember life without you.  Even when I was carrying you inside me, I couldn’t have imagined how many times a day that you would make me smile.  Or how many times I would twist your soft blonde curls around my fingers and kiss your sweet cheeks. How is it that you’ve become this independent little person, so eager to keep up with your big sister, so determined to step into her shoes, almost before she’s even stepped out of them.  Such a curious combination of baby and girl, still needing to be held and reassured when you feel the foundations of life shift beneath you a little, but at the same time, wanting to do it all on your own.  Always within reach, you’re never very far away from your Mama, because I’m only ever just a few steps behind you.

Three years was all it took to define you, to bring you to this moment, this place and this person that you are today.  You amaze me little sweetheart, every day you amaze me with your new words, your understanding and your zest for life.  So present and vibrant – so funny, my little comedian – always on the verge of a fit of the giggles.  Oh how I love that sound.

You have your whole life ahead of you my little one and I want so much for it to be great. I want the world to see you through my eyes and experience the complete joy that I do when you’re near me.  I want them to know your sweetness, your beauty, your infectious giggle, your stubborn streak, your mischievous shy smile, your gentle nature and your huge compassionate heart.  But mostly, all I want is for you to be happy.

Just slow down a little for me, will you?  Don’t grow up too fast my last little girl.  I’m trying so hard to hold onto every second, savor every moment, memorize every frame of your life so that I can play it back in my mind in years to come.  I know that you have a wonderful big world in front of you to discover, but for now it’s just us. Me loving you, and you, my last precious little gift, making my life complete.

Love you to the moon and back again angel,

Your Mama

Please continue through this blog circle to read more Letters to Our Daughters from some of the most amazing women I know.  Starting with Jody McKitrick.  She is a total inspiration to me, and manages to capture those precious moments so naturally and beautifully.

Blog circle list    Jody McKitrick | Jess Sandager | Rashmi Pappu | Julia Stotlar | Stephanie Cribbs Beaty | Amy Lockheart | Kirsty Larmour | Valeria Spring | Sarah Lynn Cornish